Recovery Takes Different Forms
by Because I Can and Will
Summary: Alec wants to try and have open communication between the Shadowhunters and Downworlders, but gaining their trust will take far more than that. Magnus and Raphael centric


Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters should pray for their good fortune.

Title: Recovery Takes Different Forms

Summary: Alec wants to try and have open communication between the Shadowhunters and Downworlders, but gaining their trust will take far more than that. Magnus and Raphael centric

Author's Note: It bothered me that they never addressed the torture Raphael went through from Aldertree, he at least deserved an apology.

* * *

Alec's POV

It all started at the weekly meeting I had set up between myself and the four downworld representatives. I felt things were going well, and Magnus had reassured me that I was doing a much better job than all those who ran the New York institute before me. I still had my doubts, but was optimistic that these meetings were in everyone's best interests. The other downworlders were more difficult to read, though Meliorn seemed the most put out at having to show up weekly and interact with the others in a civil manner, or maybe that was just his face. I would have to ask Izzy later. Raphael and Luke were at least taking it seriously, even if they were wary of the institute and being surrounded by Shadowhunters while discussing difficult matters.

It was at one of these meetings when I realized just how much I underestimated the progress we had been making. Looking at it now, I suppose it was unfair of me to assume that years of degradation and abuse could be overcome by a simple weekly meeting aiming for honesty and fair treatment. I guess I needed this eye-opening experience to see just how bad things were in order to truly try to change things for the better.

We had just finished discussing the weekly reports from the Clave, which were fairly boring, so everyone was ready to leave. However, I still needed to discuss some matters about rogue vampires with Raphael. "Well that's all I have for tonight. Anyone else?" Everyone perked up at this, and I was mildly offended since I didn't think I was that boring. "Alright, same time next week then. Raphael, could you meet with me in my office? I have some matters I'd like to discuss with you."

I knew something was wrong the moment I asked, but was unsure what I did wrong. Raphael tensed, eyes growing wide and glazing over. This drew the attention of everyone in the room, but my attention instantly went to Magnus to try and gage the situation. Magnus was looking at Raphael with a worried expression and I knew that I had just served as the catalyst to a much larger event.

However, after a few tense seconds Raphael turned to look at me with a forced expression of calm. "How about we meet tomorrow night, at the Hunter's Moon instead." He kept his voice clear of emotion despite the tense posture and guarded look in his eyes.

Before I could interject my confusion, Magnus stepped in to diffuse the situation. "That sounds like an excellent idea! I will gladly join you both, I'm always down for cocktails." Magnus's winning smile and wide gesture to Raphael and I seemed to dismiss any potential argument from either of us. "So 8 o'clock sound good?" When we both nodded warily Magnus beamed. "Great, well I think we should all be off then. Alexander, do stop by later tonight?" With a wink, he ushered the others out the door before I could even process what just happened.

* * *

Raphael's POV

Once the meeting ended Magnus ended up dragging me through a portal back to his apartment. I tried to interject, but I knew Magnus wasn't going to let me off easy. I suppose I should be grateful, but gratitude, myself, and Magnus just didn't seem to go together (nod to book Raphael here). Regardless he did just get me out of a tense situation so I tried to appear less sour than usual.

Currently we were sitting in his living room drinking cocktails he had prepared while he chatted on aimlessly about one of his many trips to Peru. I was only half listening, only Magnus could make even llamas migrate. Really, I was preoccupied by Alec's choice of meeting place. Why did he want to meet with me in his office, instead of just continuing in the room we were in? I still had nightmares about the last time I was in that office, and truly didn't ever want to go back. But how long would I be able to avoid the inevitable? I could only dodge for so long before I would have to relent, and then what, endure the Clave's 'persuasive' tactics again.

Magnus stopped telling the story and looked at me with understanding present in his eyes. "Are you ok, really ok?" I shook my head no, I couldn't lie to Magnus even if I wanted to. He got up to hug me but I moved away from him, with an annoyed look on my face. I did not give hugs, and he knew that. "Sorry, had to try." He seated himself next to me, far enough away as not to infringe on my personal space, which I deemed acceptable.

"I just… can't go back in that room. I never want too! They keep torture devices in there Magnus, and I won't go through that again." Magnus moved closer, I could tell he really wanted a hug, but backed off again at the glare I shot him.

Magnus sighed and looked forward. "I know. When I switched bodies with Valentine….. they used runes to torture me. They were planning on executing me, and no one believed I wasn't him, not even Alec. But I refuse to believe that Alec would knowingly torture any of us."

My head snapped in his direction. "Meliorn, Alec oversaw escorting him to the silent brothers! The only reason Meliorn is still alive is because we all pitched in to rescue him." My eyes narrowed at the memory and my grip on my glass tightened. I took a sip as I scowled, thinking of everything the shadowhunters had put the Downworld through in the last few months.

Magnus sighed and looked down. "I know, but Alec is not the same person he was then. And even then, he let Jace go and tried to help Izzy when she was put on trial. I think he is learning from the mistakes of others." Magnus stood up and scrunched his face up in thought, before looking directly at me and kneeling in front of me. "But I won't let anyone hurt you again, that's why I am going with you tomorrow, because I know how much you have been hurt before and how much you need support to help you get through this. I will always be here for you, and if you never feel comfortable going back to the office I will make sure you never have to."

I did let him hug me this time deciding once in a while might not be so bad. I even hugged back, because at this point everything was out in the open and I didn't have anything to lose. "Thank you." I felt the bloody tears drip on my arm and wondered how we both got to be so broken.

* * *

Izzy's POV

I was in my room going through my closet looking for the perfect outfit for the night when I heard a knock on my door. After giving the person the ok to enter I discovered Alec in my room eyeing my mess with distaste. "To what do I owe the visit big brother?" I smiled brightly at him and gestured for him to sit down on my bed.

He did, but not without pushing a few articles of clothing away first. "I just finished the weekly meeting with the Downworld representatives. I felt like everything was going well, but now I'm not so sure. I asked Raphael to stay after and meet with me in my office and he was acting really weird, and so was Magnus."

That was odd, and I took a minute to consider why they might be acting so strangely. After a moment of consideration with nothing coming to mind, I sat down next to him and cocked my head to the side before asking "How weird?"

Alec put his hand on his chin thoughtfully before answering. "It was like they didn't trust me, like they were afraid I would hurt Raphael if I were alone with him." He looked up then with sad eyes. "Do you think they are still afraid of me?"

My heart clenched to see my brother so distraught, especially since he was trying so hard. "I honestly don't know. Raphael doesn't seem to be afraid of me and I'm a Shadowhunter, and Magnus loves you. I think it's something else." I tried to think of anything that might set the two of them off like that, but was drawing a blank.

Either way, Alec looked up with hopeful eyes this time. "Maybe, do you think Raphael is still afraid I might beat him senseless after everything that happened between you two? I'm still mad at him over it all." I was about to interject but Alec held up a hand. "But I realize the most important thing is that you are better, and that I can't go on hating him forever."

Well at least it was a start to rebuilding the relationship between the vampires and the shadowhunters. "Maybe you should go to the Hotel and talk to him, I'm sure you two could work this out if you tried." I stood up and gave Alec a winning smile and extended my hand to help him up. He smiled at me in return, and I knew I had given him the right advice.

* * *

Alec's POV

I decided to take Izzy's advice, after all she knew the vampire better than I did. I was planning on popping over to the Hotel and then heading to Magnus's apartment for the night. I was hoping that we could clear the situation up, and that once the two of them understood that I didn't want to stake Raphael anymore we could resolve the tension between us.

Once I arrived at the Hotel I was surprised to be shuffled up to Raphael's personal room. I had only been in there once before, when he was dating Izzy, and it felt incredibly awkward to be back considering the subject matter I came to address. When the door opened and Raphael agreed to see me I was surprised to find him reading a book sprawled out on the couch. I couldn't see the title, and he bookmarked his spot and put the book down before I could get a closer look.

He got off the couch and approached me with his usual arrogant confidence, which made me feel better somehow. He stood in front of me with his arms crossed and smirk firmly in place before speaking. "So, is this matter so important that it really couldn't wait until tomorrow? You know Magnus is still going to make us get cocktails, right?"

I shook my head, I had completely forgotten I was supposed to meet with them tomorrow. "No, this visit is more about a personal matter." I left off there once I noticed the confused expression on the vampire's face.

He recovered quickly however with an eye roll, and walked back to the couch reaching for his book. "Look what happened between your sister and I is over, water under the bridge and all that. I'd rather not revisit it." At that both of his eyebrows flew up and he glanced in my direction.

I was not going to let him dismiss this again. If this was causing the wariness between Magnus, Raphael, and I then it needed to be discussed out in the open. "Look I'm sorry if you're afraid of me, but I really don't want to stake you anymore, as long as you stay away from her of course." I was serious about that last statement, and so I was incredibly confused when the vampire fell back onto his couch in a fit of laughter. I was confused, and concerned, considering I'd never heard of one instance where he laughed like this before. Seeing his reaction put me on edge and I reached for my weapons unconsciously.

He noticed though, and rolled his eyes as his laughter died down. "Trust me Shadowhunter, I'm not afraid of you, and what happened with your sister has absolutely nothing to do with why I didn't want to meet with you tonight." He had leaned back into the couch, and his expression was becoming unreadable.

At this point I was becoming increasingly frustrated. I threw my arms up and took a seat on the couch opposite him. "Then why?" I put as much exasperation into the sentence as I could and gave him a pleading look.

We made eye contact briefly before he looked away and sighed. I had nearly given up on getting an answer when he finally sighed and looked at me with hardened eyes. "Do you know your office is a torture chamber?" His voice didn't waver but he did shrink back some.

I barely noticed his reaction, I was too wrapped up in what he said. My office, a torture chamber. Color was draining from my face as I tried to make sense of what he said. "I don't know what you're talking about?" Suspicion was filling my being and I watched him closely.

He frowned and looked at me sadly. "Aldertree, he had a box with a remote, the different buttons had different functions, but all of them were awful." He shuddered then, and I felt confused.

I had looked through that office and never seen anything out of the ordinary, though there was that empty wooden box on the desk that was there when I was moving my things in. "How do you know any of this?" I looked at him suspiciously and he flinched back, averting his eyes. It was in that moment I knew, I knew that nothing I ever did could make up for the things inflicted by my predecessors.

I ran out of the Hotel in a blind panic, heading for my office and forgetting about going to Magnus's completely. When I ran through the Institute I got some odd looks but I shrugged them off. I flung the door to my office open and ran to that wooden box, opening it to find it empty as always. However, this time I was really looking at it, and I noticed the small notch at the bottom. I pulled the notch and found the box had a false bottom, one designed to hide a remote. I took the remote out with shaking hands and quivering lips. I looked it over before I started pressing the buttons. I jumped as the chair in front of me produced metal cuffs designed to hold the person sitting in it prisoner. Feeling sick I began pressing other buttons, ones that activated different torture devices catered to the different species of downworlders. Iron for fairies, silver powder for werewolves, concentrated light beams for vampires, and finally knives and lighters for the warlocks. The office really was a torture chamber, full of horrible things to be used on downworlders who didn't cooperate. How many had suffered already, in this very room, without breathing a word of what happened to anyone out of fear. There could never be peace with the downworlders so long as this type of practice was condoned, and I would not allow any of the representatives anywhere near the institute until he was sure their safety wasn't compromised by devices like the one he was currently holding.

* * *

Magnus's POV

I had waited in my loft, in one of my sexiest outfits, for Alec to arrive. I was certain Alec would show after the meeting, if only to question me about my odd behavior earlier. That was where my choice of clothing would come in, the plan was to distract Alec with the bright red robe, loosely tied at the waist, and a shorter than average length. However, it had been a while, at least four hours, and I was losing hope that my boyfriend would show. It was frustrating really, after putting in all this effort just so it could go to waste.

However, it was during this train of thought that my phone rang, and I noticed Alec's name on the caller id. I rolled my eyes, grateful for finally receiving an explanation for Alec's non-appearance. I answered the phone in a cheery voice, one like honey. "Alexander, it so nice to finally hear from you this evening."

Once I heard Alec's strained reply though I knew the evening was not going to go as planned. "Magnus, thank god, I need to talk to you. I'm in my office at the institute, do you think you could get here right away?" Alec sounded upset and distraught, which was unusual for the Shadowhunter.

Quickly I snapped my fingers to change my outfit and summoned a portal to the institute. "Don't worry, I'm already there." With that I hung up the phone and ran through the portal to get to Alec as quickly as I could.

* * *

Alec's POV

I called Magnus panicking, and only thinking of one person, the one I loved, and the possible things that could have happened to him in this office. I looked around at the instruments of torture I had found, feeling sick as I looked them over. I had no idea who had suffered at their hands, how many downworlders had been tormented here, and bore the physical and mental scars of such abuse. But of all of them I needed to know if Magnus had been hurt in any way, could not rest until I had an answer.

When Magnus burst through the door looking confused and concerned I ran to him and hugged him tightly, shutting the door behind us. I didn't want others overhearing anything, or seeing the instruments of torture laid out on the table before us.

Pulling away I watched as Magnus's face contorted upon seeing what sat upon the desk. His eyes widened and his lips parted in shock, and he gave me a look of disbelieve and betrayal. My heart hurt at what must surely be cycling through my boyfriend's mind. "I found all of this Magnus, hidden away in here. I don't know how long it's been here, if my parents are responsible for it being here. I don't know how many people have been hurt here, but I need to know if you are one of them." I clutched Magnus on the last statement, holding my breath with wide eyes waiting for an answer, yet dreading it at the same time.

Magnus looked slightly relieved that I wasn't hording these weapons on purpose, and let out a breath. "Not directly…" He must have felt me tense and noticed the horror on my face because he mercifully continued. "Aldertree was mad at me when I broke the rules to save your life, remember he said my punishment was yet to be decided. He hurt someone else I cared about knowing what it would do to me, right here in this room, and I had no idea until it was over and they came to me for help." Magnus's eyes looked sad, and he looked down at the floor as he spoke. I felt the guilt Magnus gave off, and felt a little bad that I only felt relief knowing my boyfriend was safe.

I considered carefully how to proceed. I didn't want to make Magnus feel like I was dismissing his friend's suffering, that was clearly horrible and Aldertree should be held responsible for what he did. "Do you know of anyone else that was hurt?" I decided venturing further was ok.

Magnus shook his head sadly. "No, though I'm sure there are others. Everyone is afraid of the Clave, and no one would report it if the head of the Institute was responsible." Just then Magnus looked up into my eyes. "How did you find all of this anyway."

I tensed then, not really wanting to convey my conversation with Raphael, but not really knowing how to avoid it. "I… asked Raphael what his problem was with me, and he told me about this. Do you know how he found out?"

Magnus shook his head at the first statement, and then stiffened and stuttered at the second. "Oh, he makes it his business to know things. But it isn't my place to say, maybe you should ask him yourself." I knew Magnus enough to know the smile Magnus produced was just for show.

"Your friend in the story, it was him wasn't it, and you never told me about what was happening, what Aldertree was doing. Why? Surely knowing would have helped me understand some of the things I have to atone for as the head of the Institute." I was confused on why this information was kept from me. Clearly the downworlders knew, both Magnus and Raphael had been tortured by Shadowhunter hands, yet neither had provided any inkling of this information. The mistrust ran deep I realized, deeper than I had anticipated. Downworlders were kept at such a disadvantage already, and the clarity of the injustice they faced was beginning to show itself the more I learned about their treatment by my kind.

Magnus looked sadly at me. "You are trying so hard, I didn't want to make you feel worse when there was nothing you could do. We had just learned about what Aldertree was doing to Izzy, and Valentine was in possession of the soul sword. I couldn't burden you with more." I could tell that this was true, but also that Magnus was leaving something out.

"You didn't think I would care about what happened. Look I don't like Raphael, and I want him to stay far away from Izzy, but torture is something I won't let go Magnus. I have to report this to the Clave!" I felt hurt, and I wanted to do something to make things right. I might not be able to help everyone, but at least this would be a start. Perhaps others would come forward and share their stories, and begin their own healing process. This wouldn't be easy for anyone, but at least it wouldn't be swept under the rug and forgotten.

Magnus reached out and grabbed me, his eyes wild and pleading. "No! Alec that would only make things worse! Vampires are already on difficult terms with the Clave, and Raphael would be so mad at you invading his privacy like that. He doesn't trust them, and I don't blame him."

I was upset now. "But something has to be done, Aldertree can't get away with this too!" I had let too much slip, and there was no turning back now.

Magnus stepped back as realization dawned on his features. "The Clave doesn't know about the Yin Fen he gave to Isabel."

I closed my eyes sadly and shook my head. "No, they don't. I want to help someone Magnus. It seems like everyone is suffering, and I can't do anything about it. Isabel ran off and got help from someone else, and you, I know your still affected by what happened." I looked at Magnus pleadingly. "Please, let me help you. Let me in so that I can help you. I know I can't erase what happened, but please let me try to help you through it." Magnus jumped forward and hugged me, and I finally felt like I did something right."

* * *

Magnus's POV

I had called Raphael and told him that woefully we were going to have to change our meeting location back to the original suggestion of Alec's office. Raphael had gone quiet for a moment before he began vehemently arguing with me. I had assured him that everything would be fine, and that I was going to be there in case anything happened so I could portal us away. After some convincing Raphael agreed, though reluctantly.

Now I was lounging in one of the chairs in Alec's office. I had brought alcohol with me of course, I was always in the mood for cocktails. I was waiting with Alec in his office for Raphael to arrive, but we weren't the only ones. There were a few other shadowhunters present, helping to scan the office and clear out all the weapons that could be cruelly used on downworlders. Alec had asked them to help purge the room so it was no longer a torture chamber, as he had no intention of ever using the space that way and would not tolerate others doing it either. Izzy, Jace, and Clary had all helped check every inch and get rid of all the instruments of torture. Currently everything was being piled into a box in the center of the room. They were doing this now to show Raphael that everything would be gone, as I knew he wouldn't believe it unless he saw the items being carted off himself.

As everything was piled into the box Raphael did appear, and his eyes were wide as he stepped back. I however gave him a warm smile as Alec addressed him. "Ah, welcome, we were just finishing remodeling the office. Could someone please remove all this from my office and dispose of it please?" Alec gestured toward the box and one of the shadowhunters in the room grabbed it and hurried out the door. Raphael eyed the box as it passed him, and when he looked back at Alec and around the room he had a genuine smile, and I knew that things were finally getting better.

* * *

Alec's POV

After the meeting, and learning the possible location of the vampire nest responsible for all the mundane deaths Magnus and Raphael had headed out. I was grateful that things had gone well, and Raphael looked much more at ease in the institute than I had ever seen him look. I was grateful to see the trust forming, but I also realized that I had a long way to go. The events of the meeting and all the events that had transpired in the past two days would help me to try to be better than those before me. I needed this experience to understand that not everything could be fixed so easily, and hoped that future meetings would bring more lessons, and more healing to the downworld community.

* * *

Author's Note

I started this before seeing season 2 episode 17, and I think it would be set before that, because Alec still has a lot to learn, and I think that episode was a learning experience for him.


End file.
